A ledger of tangible paradoxes and recovered specimens.

Benoni’s finest selection of calcified tools, sentient kitchenware, and relics that refused to be recycled in 1991.

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Cinematic Artefact: Son of Paleface (Hillbrow Archive)
€55.00
Sector 04 Interceptor | Masudaya ‘Space Patrol’ Rocket (c. 1960)
€45.00
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Biological Baseline Template | Anatomical Female Model (c. 1960–1970)
€120.00
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Sequential Chrono-Emitter | Sony Flip Clock 8RC-110E (c. 1970)
€25.00
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Sub-Zero Ground Glider (Davos Unit) | K2 Davos Slitta (c. 1960–1970)
€35.00
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Biological Anomaly ‘Garbage Pail Kids’ (1986–1987)
€15.00
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Metaphysical Transit Vessel (The Bueno Breach) | Antonio Bueno (c. 1970-1980)
€225.00
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"Evolution" Video Art Poster — Nam June Paik, 1989 Authorised 2010 Estate Edition
€110.00
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The Spark Compendium | 9-Volume Muriel Spark Penguin Archive
€36.00
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The Vanishing Directory
€32.00
Anomalous Papier-Mâché Entity | A.PUURA.A by Katrien Buyle
€65.00
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Automated Scripting (Plinio Manifesto) | Cy Twombly (1967/1999)
€95.00
Pre-Collapse Biological Record (Marine Type IV) | Antique Delftware Tile (1650–1700)
€130.00
Sub-Orbital Kinetic Messenger | Vintage Duncan Satellite (c. 1960)
€45.00
The "Sentient" Steiff Poodle | Vintage Steiff (circa 1950s)
€110.00
Biological Reconfiguration Units | Vintage Tuppertoys (1966)
€60.00
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Safety Protocols for Incompatible Species - József Fogas Poster
€145.00
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"The Random Citizen Intake" | 1974 Playmobil Klicky (Individual Mystery Asset)
€3.50
"The Displaced Trio" Hand-Made Wooden Animals
€40.00
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"Dark Days" Canine Felt Banner
€45.00
"Hyper Mediocre" Hand-Sewn Felt Banner
€45.00
Kate’s Sense of Smell (Olfactory Asset)
€100,000.00
Dual-Aperture Ceramic Vessel (Schramberg Origin)
€34.00

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Warp Store is a subsidiary of TRANS-PROVINCIAL AMALGAMATED HOLDINGS LLC
Black and white silhouette of a humanoid robot with a rounded head, chest, and limbs, standing with arms slightly extended to the sides.

Warp Store is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Trans-Provincial Amalgamated Holdings LLC. All temporal logistics, hardware tethering, and driveway maintenance are governed by the TPAH Central Board (1988 Charter).

Sector 4, Proxy, Ireland. All rifts currently monitored. Copyright © 1988, 2025, and 2042.

LIVE UPDATE 03:44:52 The site is currently 4mm further east than it was this morning. LIVE UPDATE 06:12:10 Ground subsidence is currently tracking at a rate of ‘eventual’. LIVE UPDATE 09:33:14 Atmospheric pressure is fluctuating between 1988 and 1992. LIVE UPDATE 11:20:45 The hum has moved from a B-flat to a low C. LIVE UPDATE 13:00:00 Item #442 (Blue Kettle) is vibrating again; price reduced accordingly. LIVE UPDATE 14:15:22 No, you still can't come to the garage; the dog is bitey. LIVE UPDATE 16:40:01 The Office of Continuity has relocated to the glovebox of the white Toyota. LIVE UPDATE 18:55:30 Lost: Three metres of hallway; if found, please return to the Benoni site. LIVE UPDATE 21:10:12 The neighbours are still complaining; we’ve told them it’s a mining thing. LIVE UPDATE 23:59:59 Reality is currently holding steady at 84% opacity.

〰️

LIVE UPDATE 03:44:52 The site is currently 4mm further east than it was this morning. LIVE UPDATE 06:12:10 Ground subsidence is currently tracking at a rate of ‘eventual’. LIVE UPDATE 09:33:14 Atmospheric pressure is fluctuating between 1988 and 1992. LIVE UPDATE 11:20:45 The hum has moved from a B-flat to a low C. LIVE UPDATE 13:00:00 Item #442 (Blue Kettle) is vibrating again; price reduced accordingly. LIVE UPDATE 14:15:22 No, you still can't come to the garage; the dog is bitey. LIVE UPDATE 16:40:01 The Office of Continuity has relocated to the glovebox of the white Toyota. LIVE UPDATE 18:55:30 Lost: Three metres of hallway; if found, please return to the Benoni site. LIVE UPDATE 21:10:12 The neighbours are still complaining; we’ve told them it’s a mining thing. LIVE UPDATE 23:59:59 Reality is currently holding steady at 84% opacity. 〰️