A ledger of tangible paradoxes and recovered specimens.

Benoni’s finest selection of calcified tools, sentient kitchenware, and relics that refused to be recycled in 1991.

"Dark Days" Canine Felt Banner
€70.00
"Hyper Mediocre" Hand-Sewn Felt Banner
€70.00
Kate’s Sense of Smell (Olfactory Asset)
€100,000.00
Dual-Aperture Ceramic Vessel (Schramberg Origin)
€34.00

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office@warpstore.info

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Warp Store is a subsidiary of TRANS-PROVINCIAL AMALGAMATED HOLDINGS LLC
Black and white silhouette of a humanoid robot with a rounded head, chest, and limbs, standing with arms slightly extended to the sides.

Warp Store is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Trans-Provincial Amalgamated Holdings LLC. All temporal logistics, hardware tethering, and driveway maintenance are governed by the TPAH Central Board (1988 Charter).

Sector 4, Proxy, Ireland. All rifts currently monitored. Copyright © 1988, 2025, and 2042.

LIVE UPDATE 03:44:52 The site is currently 4mm further east than it was this morning. LIVE UPDATE 06:12:10 Ground subsidence is currently tracking at a rate of ‘eventual’. LIVE UPDATE 09:33:14 Atmospheric pressure is fluctuating between 1988 and 1992. LIVE UPDATE 11:20:45 The hum has moved from a B-flat to a low C. LIVE UPDATE 13:00:00 Item #442 (Blue Kettle) is vibrating again; price reduced accordingly. LIVE UPDATE 14:15:22 No, you still can't come to the garage; the dog is bitey. LIVE UPDATE 16:40:01 The Office of Continuity has relocated to the glovebox of the white Toyota. LIVE UPDATE 18:55:30 Lost: Three metres of hallway; if found, please return to the Benoni site. LIVE UPDATE 21:10:12 The neighbours are still complaining; we’ve told them it’s a mining thing. LIVE UPDATE 23:59:59 Reality is currently holding steady at 84% opacity.

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LIVE UPDATE 03:44:52 The site is currently 4mm further east than it was this morning. LIVE UPDATE 06:12:10 Ground subsidence is currently tracking at a rate of ‘eventual’. LIVE UPDATE 09:33:14 Atmospheric pressure is fluctuating between 1988 and 1992. LIVE UPDATE 11:20:45 The hum has moved from a B-flat to a low C. LIVE UPDATE 13:00:00 Item #442 (Blue Kettle) is vibrating again; price reduced accordingly. LIVE UPDATE 14:15:22 No, you still can't come to the garage; the dog is bitey. LIVE UPDATE 16:40:01 The Office of Continuity has relocated to the glovebox of the white Toyota. LIVE UPDATE 18:55:30 Lost: Three metres of hallway; if found, please return to the Benoni site. LIVE UPDATE 21:10:12 The neighbours are still complaining; we’ve told them it’s a mining thing. LIVE UPDATE 23:59:59 Reality is currently holding steady at 84% opacity. 〰️